I find myself smack dab in the middle of a season of life that feels so heavy that it might actually crush me. The weight I carry daily has begun to cause physical pain within my body. If I’m completely honest, I feel unequipped and weak in this season of life. I have friends and family who have suffered tremendous, unexpected loss in their lives through the untimely death of a loved one. I am a grown woman, dealing with the declining health of my father, it’s in perfect order. And yet, it isn’t.
To be clear, I do not feel sorry for myself, nor do I want you to. I just want you to know that if you are in a season of extreme heaviness, you are not alone. When the unrelenting pace of life will not let up enough to allow you to process what is going on around you. When things are still normal enough that you are expected to be fully functioning but with the added weight of carrying a new burden. I see you.
Sweet friends, life is a gift, sometimes a very cruel gift, but a gift none the less. These difficult places we find ourselves in can be the greatest source of growth, but in the moment, they seem like such robbers. I spent a week at my dad’s bedside after he had undergone a triple bypass because of complications caused by his cancer. Simultaneously, I am trying to be a wife, an athletic director and what would be considered a “good” daughter. The difficulty is that in this place there is no right way to handle it. Some people think you should’ve stayed more than a week, others think life goes on and you have to keep living.
If you find yourself in a season of heaviness, give yourself the grace you need to process what is happening around you. Honor the grief growing inside of you, and yes you can grieve a living person. Know that how I process my grief, won’t be the same as yours. There is no right way. Give yourself permission to care for yourself in the midst of caring for others. Much love and strength in the heavy seasons sweet friends.
