One of my favorite ways to challenge a thought is with a method called Examine the Evidence. Instead of assuming that a negative thought is true, examine the actual evidence for it. For example, you might think you are a failure but could sit down and write a list of successes you have had. If you can’t do it for yourself, ask a friend to help you. Often, other people see us in a much more positive light than we see ourselves. Our internal eye is often negative. I want all of us to challenge that. Solicit the help of someone you love and trust, ask them how they see you. You will be surprised at their answer. I want all of us to learn to talk to ourselves the way we would talk to someone we love.
So, take some time today and write a list of the things you have accomplished in your life. A bad day does not equal a bad life. Don’t let todays frustrations make you feel like a failure. You are loved and needed. This world needs the unique things you offer. Challenge the thought of “I am a failure” until it naturally becomes “I am a success.” This is going to take some time. Realize that you are working against literally years of negative thought patterns. Be patient with yourself. I can’t promise that it will be easy, but I can promise that it will be worth it. One day you will look in the mirror and be so proud of the person you see standing there. Lauren Daigle sings “Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low? Tell me once again just who I am because I need to know.” Don’t allow yourself to be controlled by your emotions. Keep telling yourself who you are until you believe it. Don’t keep allowing negative thoughts to be so naturally occurring. Be aware of them and challenge them when they pop up.
Until tomorrow friends, know that you are successful, loving, kind, considerate. You have everything you need for today. Don’t look back at yesterday or ahead to tomorrow. Stay in the present and pursue truth. Keep challenging those thought patterns and they will change. Much love to all of you.
What thought pops us often for you that you are challenging today?
Great, great blog….I experience negativity like that but in another way, I’m going through a bad custody battle with my ex-wife at the moment where my daughter and I haven’t seen or talked to my son’s, this time in 5 months and all due of the narsistic and selfish person they call mom, and I’m sorry that is negative on my part but how does she not understand that they need their dad and sister….So my thought process on this issue is that I think and feel that my son’s are going to forget about me and not love me and blame me for them not being able to see us , and it’s so negative to feel and think that way but that feeling never goes away it breaks me at times and I cry and cry and over think things…..the last time we went 7 months without seeing them and I thought the same thing just negative thoughts and when they finally came around it was the total opposite of my thoughts …my son’s loved me and missed me and we had the best time ever and my 5 year old actually took my phone without me knowing and made a video ….saying how he missed me and loved me and he was going to spend all his time with me before he leaves and he will miss me when he leaves…..that video touches me even till this day I know I’ll continue to think and feel this way until they are finally back home where they belong but this blog did help me and I appreciate you if you waist your time lol and read through this not sure if it’s relateable to your blog but it did help and I appreciate you blogging about it. Sorry to bother but thank you and God Bless
Oscar Garcia
Thank you so much for sharing. I am so sorry to hear that you are dealing with such a difficult issue. I don’t know that I can truly say anything to help you but I would like to encourage you if I can. I do know that we do not forget our parents and your sons will not forget you. Regardless of the situation, the truth will reveal itself one day. Time heals all things and the truth always comes out. I believe that this time will be redeemed to you in the long run. I know that does not help you in this moment but stay close to the truth and continue to pray for your sons. I will add you and them to my prayer list as well. You are fighting one of the most important battles of your life and I know at times we are weary. Hang in there sweet friend, the tables will turn eventually. Be faithful to your sons and you will see a change.
I been up since 5:30 am coffee in hand and loving these cool mornings. I tell myself life is good and to enjoy everything that comes my way. But the one thought that has always crossed my mind daily is “why can’t my family be happy for me”. I never been close to them for the past 16 years its been my daughter and I. We make a great team but wish my aunts, uncles, cousins would cheer me on rather than put me down. I promise myself daily to never be like this but that thought stays with me.
These cool mornings are so nice, I love them too! I can 100% relate to what you are saying in extended family. I am very supported by some but receive very little communication from others. Over the years I have learned to set boundaries in my life with people who do not love and support me. Not everyone who is naturally tied to you in life is meant to stay there. We have to evaluate our time and energy and treat it as precious. It is an ongoing journey and process. Keep fighting the good fight sweet friend, progress is being made, it doesn’t always feel like it, but small daily actions add up to big rewards.