In life, there exists a chasm between what is and what we think should be. This exists on a shallow level of what we do for a living, the kind of house we live in, the vacations we can afford and the kind of cars we drive. It also exists on a much deeper level. It exists both within ourselves and within the opinions of other people.
For most of us, there is a gap between what is and what could be. We have an idea in our heads of what kind of people we should be, what kind of marriages we should have and what kind of jobs we should hold. Most of us live within the gap. The gap itself is not a bad thing, it can be a motivator for growth, but if misused it can be detrimental.
You see friends, not only does the gap exist within us, it also exists outside of us. Everyone around us has a different opinion of what a good wife looks like, what a good mother does, how a good leader behaves, etc. The noise is constant. The people in my daily life have an opinion of what I should be like as a leader, all varied. On the surface, this is not a bad thing. But if my only measure of success is the opinion of others, I will never truly feel successful. How many of these varied expectations do you think I meet daily? Not many. People have an opinion on what I should be like as a wife, people judge my actions and behaviors by their own standard of marriage, rarely do I meet their expectations. What matters is what Jarrett and I define as a good marriage, the values we lay out for our family should be our guide.
When we go through our life with our radar out there to meet the standards of other people and to live up to their expectations, we are often very disappointed and sometimes even filled with rage. I would challenge you to flip the script. Come as YOU are. Exactly as you are. Show up, everyday, as yourself. Use your own standards and expectations as your measure. Honor the gap that exists between who you are and who you want to be. Make her proud everyday. You will never meet the highly varied standards in the court of public opinion, make sure the voice you honor most often is your own. Much love and grace within the gap sweet friends.
