The fact that we cannot pour from an empty vessel is something we’ve discussed more than once over the past couple of months. It’s true that we have to do the daily work of filling ourselves so that we can pour into others. But we also need to be aware that some of the vessels we pour into have holes.
Throughout my life, I have had very healthy friendships and relationships, and I have had very unhealthy friendships and relationships. Lately, I’ve become aware of a major difference in the two. Healthy relationships are a two way street; both parties are doing the work to fill themselves and are pouring into each other. There is a return. Often, we attach ourselves to people who only take from us and we walk around in a constant state of lack. Friends, you cannot survive in drought; love dies when it is not nurtured. If your relationships leave you more drained than filled it may be time to reevaluate some of them. The people that are closest to you should bring you life, they should fill you with peace and joy, they shouldn’t leave you exhausted.
The friends that I have now pour themselves into my life. They encourage me, inspire me and love me. They send me messages encouraging my writing. They express how genuinely happy they are for me in my success. They comfort me when I am hurting. Many of my closest friends do not live in close proximity to me and yet the fill me. I heard from two of my sweetest friends yesterday and both of them poured so much love out on me via text. I am abundantly blessed in my relationships. I recognize this because I have also experienced drought.
Know the difference between those who come to feed the soil and those who come to grab the fruit. Your time and energy are precious. They are an investment. Invest them in people who will give you a positive return. Distance yourself from those who simply take. Be filled friends.
