I used to place very little value on myself. I accepted whatever love came my way. I honestly never pursued anyone, I just waited for people to come to me. I accepted, rather than selected, my partners. Sure, some of them I thought about, crushed on, etc. But I never chose anyone. I sat back and waited for someone to choose me. I was passive in my pursuits.
Thinking back on that now, it really goes against everything in my personality to be passive. I am a tenacious, driven, ambitious person. I put the pedal to the metal going after everything that I want in life. Every single thing I have achieved has come from hard work, sacrifice and a little bit of luck placing me in the right place at the right time. With one major exception, love.
When it came to love I just kind of sat back and thought, maybe this isn’t for me. Maybe there isn’t someone out there that will understand me. Maybe I’m just weird, unloveable, too much, etc. I truly believed that, until there was someone. That’s when everything changed. But let me back it up a bit first.
You think that the right person is going to just walk into your life one day. We think we are ready and just simply in waiting. But here’s the thing friends, the right person comes into your life when you become the right person. When you have done the work to get to the place of loving yourself. That’s when that person comes along. All the ones before that, we stumbled over, because we weren’t ready. Until we are ready, we will repeat the same mistakes over and over again.
The shift occurs when we adjust our thinking. When we decide we want something real, and lasting and we are willing to do the work for it. When we believe we are worthy of being loved well and go out and actively pursue that kind of love. The magic is in loving ourselves first. That is when the true shift occurs. It starts within us.
So here’s the thing friends. You have to love you, before anyone else can. I don’t care what you have to do to get there, just get there. Do the work. It is worth every single ounce of pain, every hurt, every tear, all of it. I am here and happy to help guide you in any way that I can. I can’t do the work for you, but I’d love to help you get there. Write yourself a love letter, an affirmation, a prayer…whatever it is that works for you. No matter how uncomfortable it is, just do it. And then spend a week reading it to yourself everyday. Shift that mentality from not enough to more than enough. I promise, you are worth being loved well.
