There’s a difference between loving, and loving well. Am I right!? Can I get an amen! Sometimes what people need is space, time, distance or silence. Sometimes people need us to show up and push. Sometimes they need us to walk away, sometimes they need us to fight. Knowing this, will save all of us a lot of heartache. The ability to love someone as they need to be loved, rather than how we want to love them, is truly a game changer.
We can’t love other people well, if we don’t love ourselves well. We cannot love someone past the level that we love ourselves. Nor can we accept love beyond the level we love ourselves. In The Perks of Being a Wallflower the following truth bomb is dropped, “we accept the kind of love we think we deserve.” The truth is, we are often in the relationships we are in because we feel they are what we deserve. Good or bad. My challenge to you, is to challenge the level of love you think you are worthy of. We are all worthy of being loved well.
Consider the following. You find yourself in a good relationship, with someone you are crazy about, and all of a sudden you bail. Why? Often, we bail unexpectedly because we believe that we are not worthy of their love, not good enough for them, etc. Their love bumps up against an insecurity that we have about ourselves that leads to a downward spiral of self doubt. The discomfort of this causes us to run, rather than stay and fight. No amount of kind words, affirmation or reassurance from them will help us stay.
Here’s the thing friends, in order to really love someone, you have to love yourself first. Period. There are literally no two ways about this. Over the next week, we are going to dive deeper into self love. How to develop it, recognize it, practice it, etc. We have to learn to love and accept ourselves exactly as we are. To allow the space between where we are and where we are going be an encouragement, not a deterrent.
Take some time to write down some things you really like about yourself and some areas of growth that you see. Stick with me for the next week as we dive deeper into this and learn to love ourselves, and others well. Much love friends.
