We live in a culture of measurement, constantly comparing our lives to others. It starts at a young age. We hear innocent parents and caregivers say, “why can’t you act more like your sister? Do you see how good John is being? He is sitting so quietly and not bothering anyone.” We start grading children on their work from the very beginning, measuring and critiquing the performance of everyone. It happens in athletics, academics, extracurricular activities…everywhere you look there is a measuring stick.
We learn to see ourselves only as we are reflected in the eyes of others. Constantly searching someone’s eyes for approval. Addicted to the praise we receive and devastated by the criticism. We lose our ability to measure ourselves and rely solely on others to tell us how we are doing. Until we reach a level of maturity to see things for ourselves, this is a cycle that keeps us in a negative mentality.
I remember being so afraid to miss a shot that I wouldn’t take one. I loved being on defense, but I hated offense. I didn’t want to mess up. I was so afraid of failure that I wouldn’t even try. And that is what happens in this measuring society that we have, we see failure as the worst possible option. We don’t learn to see failure as an opportunity until much later. The fact is, people miss baskets. Even the most talented players do. It’s part of the game. It’s not failure, it’s progress.
We have become so afraid of failure, and so addicted to approval, that we are afraid to take risks. We learn to take the path of least resistance and to make the choices that don’t rock the boat. We choose the safe, easy path because on that path at least we will be evaluated well or at the very least not criticized. Sweet friends, the beauty of life is found in the risks. The lessons are found in the failure. The courage is found in the fear. You have to step into the uncomfortable places in order to grow. Do not be so addicted to the approval of others that you lose the ability to search your own eyes for approval. Be your own measuring stick. This is your one life, don’t be afraid to fail. Much love and bold living sweet friends.
