One year ago today, a very good friend of mine and I met for dinner. To just catchup on life. We had not seen each other in years, but had touched base occasionally just to check in. I was in a very hard place in life. And, in all honesty, wasn’t sure I wanted to sit across from someone I hadn’t seen in years and either 1) lie and say everything was rosy or 2) tell the story of why it wasn’t. For some reason, I decided to just be honest, and vulnerable and raw. I was completely heartbroken, and I didn’t hide that fact.
I walked through the doors of Tacos Garcia, in Amarillo, TX, nervous but also anxious to reconnect with my friend. Old friends feel so much like coming home. I was at a point in life where I felt so undone and so untethered to anything that I needed a dose of home. We both brought questions to ask each other and took turns going down our list of questions. We had the best time and one of the most real, vulnerable and honest conversations either of us had experienced in years. It was refreshing, soul filling and fun.
We hugged each other at the end of the night, got in our cars and drove back to our respective homes; Canyon for me and Shamrock for Jarrett. I cannot tell you what that first “friend date” felt like, other than to say it was the most refreshing and healing things ever. Jarrett listened to my story with such compassion and non-judgmental eyes. Just like a long time friend would. In his eyes, I saw the reflection of the 14 year old girl he first met in 1999 in the halls of Post High School.
We repeated another friend date a week later. Except at the end of that one Jarrett said, “what if I asked you on a real date.” I was completely frozen in fear. In all honesty, at the age of 35, I was done with dating. I just didn’t have it in me to do anymore. I was so afraid of another ending that I just couldn’t stomach another beginning. But something on the inside of me whispered, “just one more time.” So, after a much too long awkward pause, and a little persuasion on his end, I said yes. A year later, here I sit, in our shared home in Alpine, TX, now his wife. To my precious, heartbroken friends, your yes is coming. I know it doesn’t feel like it, and maybe you don’t even want it, but it is coming. Ready yourself. Much love sweet friends.
