In the Obstacle is the Way, Ryan Holiday states: “Through our perception of events, we are complicit in the creation-as well as the destruction-of every one of our obstacles. There is not good or bad without us, there is only perception. There is the event itself and the story we tell ourselves about what it means.”
So much of how we experience the world, and our own lives, is in our own perception of it. It’s our interpretation of events that create our reality. Many of us get offended when things don’t go the way we think they should. Ever applied for a job, didn’t get it, and got so angry when it didn’t work out? What if, not getting that job was actually a protection for you because the stress and pressure of it would’ve been a huge strain on your marriage? What if not getting that job set you on the exact right path for the best job you could ever imagine?
Most of us, myself included, want everything we think we should have, right this very moment. We don’t like waiting and we are married to the timeline in our heads of what our lives should be like. We don’t like it when reality goes against the plan.
Breakups can be our biggest blessings. In the moment, they are devastating and painful, they can be embarrassing and gut wrenching. Why would we want to spend our lives with someone who was not fully invested in our lives? What if that breakup put you directly onto a path for the most amazing relationships you could ever possibly imagine? If I spend the months after a breakup refocusing on what it is I truly want in life and committing to myself to go out and get the very best, then that breakup did me the greatest favor I could ever imagine. We need to be more gracious with people when they end relationships, they truly are doing you a great favor by letting you go if they are not fully invested.
The events in our lives, themselves, truly do not have that much power. They have only the power that we give them. When we shift our focus from that of lack, to that of opportunity our interpretation of the world changes. Try to look for the possibilities in every situation instead of staying stuck on the pain or lack that the situation caused. Take the wisdom and move forward to the next thing wiser and more prepared. Much love and positive perceptions sweet friends.
