Have you ever stopped to evaluate why you react the way you do to someone else’s response? Your partner/friend/coworker says something completely innocent and you immediately ask them why they would say that to you. What if you paused and asked yourself why their statement caused a reaction in you?
We do not have any control over other people’s responses but we do have control over our own reactions. Maybe you’re the problem. So often, if I take the time to pause instead of react, I realize that their statement hit a nerve in me. It wasn’t actually what they said that bothered me, but the memory or emotion that it evoked in me. They are responding in a way that feels right to them and we can’t change their behavior. Correcting them or criticizing them for the way they respond is completely unproductive. The best thing we can do is evaluate why we reacted the way that we did to what they said.
One of the main reasons we tend to overact in situations has to do with our expectations. If you ask someone a question, with a certain response in mind, be prepared to be disappointed. People don’t think like you think. Rarely, will someone respond exactly as you would. Don’t get mad at people for not living up to an expectation that you don’t communicate.
Second, check your emotions. When I am overly tired or stressed it is much more difficult for me to control my emotions. I overact a lot when I am too tired. My people know that and they love me through it. Be extra aware of yourself when you are leaning against one of your triggers. Take extra time to respond.
Take some time today to evaluate why you react the way you do to certain words or phrases. When someone says something that causes a reaction in you, stop and evaluate why. What is it in you that’s causing you to react the way that you are?
