“I just don’t understand.” If I had a dollar for every time that statement came out of my mouth, I wouldn’t have any student loan debt. I always tell myself that if I could just understand why a person made that choice, why I didn’t get the job, why that friend walked away from me…I would be okay.
The truth is, we don’t get to understand. And even if we did, what would it change? The actions of people are not always meant to be understood. We are all wonderfully weird creatures and we make really poor decisions sometimes. Sometimes we make incredibly selfish choices that hurt those around us. Helping someone understand why I made the selfish choice, doesn’t change the fact that I made it. The action remains the same.
The fact is, understanding doesn’t take the pain away. It doesn’t excuse the behavior. Just because you can understand why someone would do something, doesn’t make it okay that they did. Let go of the thought that it could’ve been any different. We often have so many regrets tied to our lives, things we either did or didn’t do. We keep ourselves in a constant loop of heartbreak because we just want to make things right. We don’t always get closure either. Sometimes, we have to leave it where it lies.
Forgive yourself for the mistakes that you’ve made. Apologize where necessary. And then can I encourage you to let it go? Move forward but take the lesson with you.
