I am approaching a season where things should slow down a bit and I can tell that my soul is so ready for it. Any time I’ve had outside of athletic events has been spent either going to Canyon to pack the house or unpacking the house in Alpine. I’ve been setting up a home and getting a home ready to sell, trying to wrap things up in one place and get them started in another. This busy season has been good for me because it’s kept me distracted enough that I didn’t have to face myself.
As things have started to slow down I’ve realized I’ve been neglecting my people. The ones I love the most have been pushed aside. My wedding planning, and enjoying this season of life, have been pushed aside as well. I have not been able to enjoy this time that is supposed to be so fun. But I knew that was a sacrifice I would make and it was one that was worth it. The temporary sacrifice was well worth the opportunity that preceded it. But it did bring to mind a default for being busy that we use as a shield.
I think many of us work as hard as we do as a distraction to what’s waiting for us when we get home. We try to out work, out run, out spend, out drink, or out eat our problems. We are excessive in whatever way brings us comfort to keep our minds and our bodies busy enough to not realize what’s missing in our life. Many of us are afraid to sit in the quiet, to sit still and be still without any external stimuli.
Sweet friends, this last year forced a lot of us into stillness. We had to learn to face ourselves. To really look around and see if we liked what we had, where we were, who we were with and who we had become. Stillness changes things. If you find yourself constantly running, reflect on why. Are you trying to outrun the feeling of loneliness, sadness, anxiety? They will be there when you finally land, like a shadow they follow us. You can delay them but you cannot deny them. Last year I forced myself to fall in love with my home, myself, the people around me, and the things that I had. That love brought me to the place I am in now. I believe we do not get more until we truly love and appreciate what we have. It’s not easy to face the things we run from, but it’s life changing when we do. Much love and silent reflection sweet friends.
