I am currently reading Think Like a Monk by Jay Shetty and to say that it has blown my mind is an understatement. Such a practical, challenging, thought provoking book. Expect to read about it more over the coming weeks.
Shetty refers to a concept that I have thought a lot about over the past few years. Have you ever considered how most people respond to the question, “How was your day?”. Most of us have a tendency to focus on the negative. We tell you what went wrong, rather than what went right. We dedicate so much mental energy to the negative, hard things and so little to the happy, positive things.
When you really stop and think about a typical day for you….I would guess that maybe 10% of it is challenging. Honestly. Maybe 10%. Yet that is where our focus goes. When something hard happens to me, if someone is unkind, I mess up, spill a drink, etc…I can’t stop thinking about it. It becomes something that I dwell on. But the fact of the matter is for every one misstep I have 9 correct steps. For every work mistake I make there are at least 9 things I did well. For every relational error I make, I did 9 things right. At the very least. One error does not erase 9 successes. Give yourself some grace.
Here’s the thing friends. Most of us are very aware of our short comings, we don’t need to be reminded. They hurt enough in the moment, why do we carry them with us? Why don’t we let them go and move on? When I hurt someone, even a tiny bit, I think about it so much. The most amazing person in my life right now always reminds me of all the things I did right. Every time I apologize. Why do we hold onto things people have already let go of? Don’t dwell on the missteps, inconveniences or mishaps. Life is beautiful and you are doing an amazing job of living your life. Don’t beat yourself up and don’t sell yourself short. Keep showing up. Do the work. Focus on the successes. Learn from the failures and then let them go.
Next time someone asks you how your day is going, I challenge you to only tell them the good things. Tell them what you did right. Tell them about the conversation you had with a friend that went really well. Tell them how productive you were. Tell them that you ate lunch without spilling any on yourself. Whatever it is that went well, express it. Stay focused on the wins.
