Relationships. They are our greatest joy and largest frustration all rolled up into a big, messy, tangled up ball. My greatest pleasure and greatest pain have come through relationships. Often with the same human delivering both equally. We are all just trying to navigate through life and we do have a slight tendency to overcomplicate things. Let’s talk about a few things that go a long way to uncomplicate our relationships.
Communication. I know, I know…you’ve heard it a million times. It solves everything right? Well, not everything…but I will say…nail this one and your success rate increases tremendously. Here’s what I do know. All of us, each and every one of us, knowingly or unknowingly are walking around with expectations. There are the wants/needs/desires all rolled up in us that we carry into every situation that we enter. Some times we are very aware of them, other times, completely unaware.
Here’s the thing friends. Any expectation that I have placed on you, and not communicated to you is completely unfair. I am literally setting you up for failure. If I want you to bring me a coke at work and you don’t, I’m not super happy about it. We need to COMMUNICATE our expectations to the people in our lives. Don’t hint around about it, sarcastically call someone out for not doing it, or passive aggressively complain. Say, “I would really love it if you would bring me a coke by the office every now and then.” Boom! Magic.
Friends, your partner is not going to magically start reading your mind and anticipating your needs. That is the stuff of fairytales and as you already know, this life is not a fairytale. That person that you think is awesome also really smells sometimes, can be super annoying and makes dumb decisions. How do I know that? Because we all do. Give each other grace. Love them through the smells, the shortcomings and the hurt feelings.
People are totally worth it. All of it. All relationships are hard. Every. Single. One. Find a person you truly care for, be open and honest when you get to know each other, tell the good, the bad, and the ugly. Lay it all out there. If they still want to hang around, you’re on the right track friends. Most importantly keep communicating. Communicate hurt feelings, missed ques, hurts…all the things. But also, please, I beg you, even more than the other, communicate the good stuff. When they do something right, tell them. When they make your heart swell with pride tell them. When they look hot, tell them. Pour love all over them, every single chance you get.
Relationships are our greatest privilege. The people that are in our lives are our greatest mission. They are the reason we are here. The people we do life with are the chosen ones. Treat them that way. Remember why you love them. Remember how amazing they are. Remind them of why you chose them. Just keep loving them. And while you’re at it, love yourself too.
