Today, my sweet daddy would’ve been 70. I have had him on my mind so much over the past few months and thought today we be timely to share the words I shared at his funeral. Happy 70th Birthday sweetest Pappy, I hope you are having the time of your life.
I decided not to share stories with you today, not because I don’t have any because trust me, I’ve got some really good ones. But because I believe that a father’s legacy is left in the lessons he leaves his children. So today, I would like to honor my father’s legacy by sharing some of his lessons with you.
“Stop and smell the roses”. Pappy lived a very simple life and was constantly reminding me to slow down. He took his time, he drove like a turtle, reminding me that even though the speed limit was 75, I didn’t have to drive that fast. He would tell me that we often live our lives in reverse, way too busy when our kids are little and way too much time on our hands when they are gone. He would remind me to stop and cherish the moments, not take life too seriously and enjoy the simple things. In his honor, I have learned to sit with my morning coffee and really enjoy it. I’ve learned to take my time when headed somewhere and stop and read the dang historical markers because he always wanted to. To take care of what I have and not want more than I need. I see beauty in sunrises, appreciate any bit of moisture that falls from the sky and hear the purity in a calves bawl. I know that blooming mesquites mean my plants can go outside and the presence of scissor tails means spring is here. I know that the best lessons in life are learned, not in board rooms or classrooms, but in the dusty cab of feed trucks bouncing down dirt roads. I know that life’s joy is found in our daily routine, not in our accomplishments.
“Never let ‘em see you sweat” My dad was a very tough man with a very sentimental side. He taught me to have a good poker face and to deal with tough things in private. In many ways, my dad was a very private person and I am painfully private myself. With him there was always permission to cry, to laugh, to be upset but to dust yourself off and move one. Don’t dwell and don’t hold a grudge. Life is too short for that nonsense.
“It’s a great life if you don’t weaken” Dad never sugar coated things. He was honest, sometimes to a fault. He said the things you didn’t want to hear. I’m grateful that he was honest with me about the reality of life. I didn’t grow up believing that the world was this nice, fair place. He taught me that life is hard and it would be hard. He taught me that nothing is owed to you. That you can have anything you want in life but you’re going to have to work for it. He also taught me that life is beautiful and to make sure I saw it every day.
The problem with life is that when we are in the midst of it, we think nothing will ever change. When the truth is, nothing stays the same. Everything changes. The good and the bad. Life is lived in seasons. There are seasons of harvest, seasons of planting, seasons of drought and seasons of plenty. The trick is, to find the value in all seasons and to look for the good in the hard seasons.
Love your people well. I have often been challenged when someone’s life ends in wondering whether or not I loved them well while they were here. We say such nice things about people when they pass away, but do we tell them while they are still here. I hope my dad knew how much I loved him, I hope he knew how much all of you cared for him. My challenge to you today is to carry that forward. Love people. Big and boldly. Tell them how you feel, tell them what they mean to you. I know it can be awkward but it’s beautiful. Start a chain reaction of loving people while they are with you. It’s transformative. I cannot begin to express my gratitude for the outpouring of love we have experienced from all of you. You have humbled me to my very core. Thank you for loving my daddy. So many of you have shared with me how proud he was of me, I hope he knew how proud I was of him. Of the man he was and the way he lived his life. I am proud to be Red Workman’s daughter.
