Easter weekend has been a little different than we originally planned, spending time at home rather than with our families this year. The time alone has given me some time to reflect a bit. Lately, I have been trying to prioritize stillness, quiet, learning, reflecting, and living. Stepping away from so much media, screens, and television and spending more time reading real books, engaging with Jak, and being outdoors. This weekend, I have been reflecting on the time between the crucifixion and the resurrection. It’s a subject we don’t pay much attention to.
We hear a lot about the horrors of the crucifixion and the miracle of resurrection but what about the time in between? How bleak, desolate, and full of despair was that time? To witness the horror of the crucifixion and the reality of death with no hope for anything to be different.
It seems, in life, we struggle most with this in between space. The unknown time. Between the highs and lows of life. We want control, answers, direction, guidance, and ultimately a well laid plan with positive outcomes. We rush this time. Numb ourselves. Disengage. Pull away. Eat comfort foods. Drown in television and social media. We try to get through with as little pain as possible. We ignore. We pretend.
I hate how much time I’ve wasted in my life dwelling on what I thought should be rather than appreciating what is. The sun has always risen and a new day has dawned. Life is meant to be lived. Fully. Not merely survived. I would argue that we spend much more time in the between than in any other place. The highs in life are few and far between and if we are honest, so are the lows. Yet we are always rushing to the next thing, rarely pausing to appreciate the reality of what is around us. As I look back now, I realize that nothing was as bad as I thought it might be and when the time came to face the hard things I had what it took.
I want to remember what it feels like to hold my son as soon as he wakes up. To wrap his arms around me and feel the weight of his head on my shoulder. I want to remember what the weight of carrying him feels like. I want to sit and taste the food I prepare. I want to listen to my employees when they bring issues to me. I want to sit around my kitchen table and talk about life with my husband. I want to realize that this in between time is pretty beautiful too. It is rich and full. Our lives are only as good as the lens through which we view them. I choose the lens that highlights the good and doesn’t spend too much energy on the bad. There is beauty in every phase of life, but we must lift our head and see it. Much love and Easter blessings sweet friends.
